Just the other night I got up to change the channel, but stood there and watched it instead…was gonna meditate and maybe shed a little form and shadow, but the silence was distracted by the voices in my head…telling me that maybe I should try to give up smoking, though I just barely bought another pack of cigarettes…cause the last one I bummed to a friend…I was gonna hatch another business plan, I was gonna sell the shit out of my band, was gonna try and level with my mom and dad, I’m trying to take stock of all the things I have, but oh I…just the other day I got the urge to be a father, but was I only feeling that to fill an empty space?...suggested to my girl that we should move out of the city, but realized that moving isn’t all about the place…so then I thought that maybe it’s the way that I am living, not asleep not quite awake…living for living’s sake…try to be well spoken but I’m just well read, try not to be nervous but they know I am, need a little measure and another chance, to separate what’s failure from what’s circumstance, for all I know…staring at a pretty sunset on the beach, made me think of all the things that remain out of reach, need a lifetime maybe two or more to feel complete, there’s a hundred movements swelling up inside of me, that die upon release…I was really starting to get into it, trying to be kinder but then talking shit, accepting every offer but then quick to quit, mistaking my polemics for my politics, pity is the saddest form of love…I was gonna stop and take another pass, instead I took a sip and then I raised a glass, I was gonna genuflect and pray again, but my heart will not embrace what it don’t understand.